I have nothing Castle
by Stillamazed
Summary: A closer look at the emotions that Castle felt when Beckett cried infront of him. This scene takes a closer look at the talk that the two had after Castle pulled Beckett from the Fire Cheif.


**Everybody's Gone Castle **

"If this is not the guy, that I have nothing Castle...Everybody's Gone." In that moment Castle stood up and embraced her.

This scene takes place in Beckett's house. It is based off of Rise 4x01 after Castle had to pull Beckett away from the Fire Chief. It potentially depicts that scene cut between the one at Beckett's house and the next one at the Precinct.

_*Disclaimer although I would love to, I do not own anything nor am I associated with "Castle"_

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><p>"Beckett, he's got all these awards and recognitions from the Mayor. This guy has literally saved dozens of people from burning buildings." She heard Castle say while he was sifting through the stacks of pages.<p>

Beckett pushed her hair away from her face. Trying to find a way to place this all together. She was sure that this man had something to do with her mother's murder. No matter what Castle said, she didn't care. She didn't care how many people this man saved, how great he was, how good of a rapport he had. All that mattered was that he helped kill her mother.

To Castle, to Lanie, to the Boys, this killer took her mom. But to Beckett, this killer took 3 lives that day. One physically, and two emotionally. The vivid images filled her mind of the days her father would come home late and drunk. He would slam the door, fall down and cry.

"Johanna, I miss you so much," she would hear him say, "I just wish I was with you in your last moments. I wish I was there. I wish it was me instead of you." Beckett at the time was enrolled in NYU Commerce. At mere 19, her professors included her in research that usually only included accelerated fourth year students. She had work-placements waiting for her to graduate. Beckett had goals and a future.

But she couldn't take it. Seeing her dad drunk. Hearing her dad cry and blame himself. She dropped out of her Commerce program, out of her goals and dreams. She disappointed her professors. But she didn't care, she wanted to find the truth. To give her mother what she died for, justice.

So here she was now, still walking back and forth in front of Castle and she said,

"Maybe he was a target of opportunity and he needed the money,"

"But his financial records don't indicate any problems and given his record... he's..."

"Given his record _what_?" Beckett's brow furrowed. Castle was right, the fire chief had a pristine record. But this wasn't the time to give up on any lead. She thought Castle understood that.

"I'm just saying that this might not be our guy, you can't know that he is," Castle carefully said. He knew how sensitive this is and he respected Kate Beckett's determination, but the last thing he wanted to see is Kate Beckett getting in trouble. And possibly getting hurt again.

Beckett didn't know, but every time she was left disappointed, his heart broke. To see that gleam, that tint of hope and optimism in Beckett's eyes was something Castle would do anything for. But to see that get taken away by a dead end, every single time. To see her brows furrow after, her frown, and her silence. It killed him. And it killed him more when he heard Beckett's voice become course, filled with raw emotion when she spoke,

"I _can_ know this Castle. Because of this isn't our guy than _I've got nothing_. The person who shot me, _gone_. The person who killed my mother, _gone_. Dick Coonan, _Gone_. Montgomery, _gone_. _My mom_. _Everybody's gone Castle_," Beckett tried hard to restrain every single tear she had built up. As she looked towards Castle, images became blurry.

He saw her eyes red with tears. He saw how her lips trembled, restraining herself from giving into her emotions. He knew that she didn't want to cry in front of him. But he really wanted her to let go. He wanted her to open up to him and to let him be apart of her emotions. Although she couldn't see it, the way he looked at her, his heart was crying with her.

Finally the tears ran down her face. As they met eye contact she took a deep breath. Castle saw the look of confusion, of frustration, and of disparity in her eyes.

As there was a silence in the room he couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't stand having the woman he loved just stand there. Feeling scared and helpless. He stood up, and slowly approached her. He noticed that that she looked up at him, but as they made eye contact she looked away again to try to condemn another tear.

As she took another deep breath, she felt him wrap his arms around her. The warmth of his body radiated towards her.

"Castle," She gently tried to push him away, but she couldn't. She didn't want to. She knew he loved her and that she loved him. But she hadn't intended this research session to become a romantic rendezvous. As she felt his grip around her tighten gently, she felt an outpour of tears. She wasn't surprised that she cried so much. She had held these emotions for months. She didn't want to cry in front of her father so she held it all in during the day. During the night she had moments where she wept but since her dad came checking on her every few hours, she held most of the tears then as well.

"Beckett," Castle gently whispered, "It's okay, I know". Castle gently placed his left arm around her lower back, as his right arm brushed her hair. It then trailed down to her upper back where he started to gently draw circles with his fingers.

All Beckett could make were stifling sounds that resonated against his chest.

"Shh, I know, I know," He said. "I really do. The feeling when you miss a parent. When you want to see them, but you never get a chance to. I Know." Castle hadn't intended to imply about his father this night. But being caught in the moment, he wanted to open up to Beckett. To let her feel his sincerity, to let her know that he honestly understood her. And she did, she felt it.

She tightly gripped around him like a toddler gripping the safety of their mother. He leaned the side of his face against the back of her head when she nuzzled her face deeper in his chest.

At that moment. They were together. Their bodies, hearts, and thoughts, were together.


End file.
